I finally realize that I needed to be who I knew I was inside

I was raised in a Southern Baptist home by a Southern Baptist minister. I lived most of my life pretending to be someone that I was not. I had my first child at 17, married at 18. I had my second child a 20. Not long after that I decided that it was time for me to be who I really knew I was inside, and that’s a lesbian. I never was happy but being raised the way I was raised in a Southern Baptist home that saw that as being wrong. I went through a very rough patch where I just didn’t want to be here anymore and I finally decided that if I couldn’t be the person that I knew I was deep down inside, then my children didn’t deserve me as a mother. I finally came out to my family. And here I am almost 12 years later, not just a lesbian but also a tattoo artist. I have tattoos, I have kids. Here I am today, because I finally realize that I needed to be who I knew I was inside, otherwise I didn’t need to be here.

I did have a teddy bear that I very unfortunately lost in a break up. My grandmother had given me the teddy bear when I was probably 8 or 9 years old and it stayed with me, always, even at 20 something years old it was on my bed. Unfortunately I don’t have it any longer. My grandmother was my mother figure. My mom was sort of a big sister. she was 18 when she had me. My grandparents raised me, they had custody of me. Unfortunately I lost my grandma 6 years ago. My teddy bear dried my tears when I didn’t have anything else to dry my tears, pretty much. That bear was there for me to hold, scream into, hug and kiss when I had nobody else to hug and kiss, you know.