“I feel better. I feel cleansed.”
I decided to give up being intimate, so now I’m celibate and it’s different. You do feel like an outsider because the world feels like they can’t make it without it. You’re looked at as an outsider if you’re not engaged. I feel different but I’m OK with it. I feel better. I feel cleansed. It’s a day by day process. And I just feel bad that the world is like that, you know, that everybody wants you to be like them and not be different or you’re considered different if you don’t, and then if you do there’s a name for you. If you don’t there’s a name for you so it’s like what do you do? I think it’s a matter of what you believe about yourself and your standards that will keep you going.
My Christianity, believing in the Lord and loving myself more took me here. I think I deserve to be treated like a woman. You have to demand that and you have to teach people to treat you that way.
I had a Cabbage Patch doll. She was just given to me and I just put it up, you know to save it. You know how you have that special doll you don’t want to play with. I just kept it on the shelf. It was nice to get one so you wanted to save it. You didn’t want to touch it, I didn’t do a whole lot with it.