“It told me that it was OK to be childlike”
As a little girl I was always rejected by my older siblings and that empowered me to go out and become my own woman.
But then later when I was diagnosed with stage four neuroendocrine tumors I went from 164 to 88 pounds and I was gray and I lost my hair and I even was wearing a diaper. Everyone treated me like they wanted to hug me but they were scared to hug me because they couldn’t understand how I could get so sick. It was like an overnight thing. To make a long story short God brought it all back. I am so amazing, I am more beautiful than before, my skin is better than before.
Now I smile at those people and say I don’t have it, have a nice day.
I feel really, really awesome that I went through this because God put me here and this is who I am supposed to be; confident, proud. And I know that it is not all about how you look. It made me a well rounded more humble person.
I have a few stuffed animals, Betsy, Meg and I have a little Juju. I threw away all my stuffed animals as a child but then I got new ones when I was sick and it told me that it was OK to be childlike, you don’t have to be so tough, so strong because you thought that is what you needed to do to get past the hurt that people caused you. These animals were the only things that I wanted to keep close to me at night when I was sick because I really didn’t want to be around people.