“Now I feel like I am able to step into a life purpose.”
Unfortunately in 2007 my father’s life was taken and he was a jazz musician. My mother was a singer songwriter. I grew up in this household where there was music every single day. If I wanted to go to bed and get any sleep I would have to wear ear plugs. It was musicians constantly and just like, jazz, jazz, jazz. I came out here to act. I’ve starred in many movies.
Because of some early, I guess trauma, I could not, I was blocked even though I was acting, I was still blocked. As I started to try to do a living amends to my very impossible father, who’s on the other side, who helps me along with this now. He is so unbelievably amazing now that he’s on the other side, I have to say. Out of the living amends to my father I’ve found my voice as a singer and I’m still really working on it. It is developing, the brightness and the light and the synchronicity that happens around it is extremely powerful.
Even though we didn’t have the greatest relationship, now I feel like I am able to step into a life purpose, is what it feels like. I am finding my voice even though there was tragedy. I feel guided by my father and my mother from the other side. I am able to let go, be in tremendous forgiveness. And ferociously and very strongly try to live my life to the best of my ability even though sometimes I feel I should have done this, done that. I kind of just say, well, you know I am here today, I’m alive. I choose to live a visible recovered life.
My dog is my stuffed animal. She really is. I used to have a bear.
I bought one recently when I really started to connect to my inner child. I would go to my meetings and I would hold her. Sometimes people would look at me as an adult, like, what are you doing with a big old bear. I felt so safe and I felt safe enough to be able to communicate some of the early things that blocked me from music, interestingly.