The fear was all in my head

In high school I was one of the first people that came out. Everyone kind of speculated, everyone kind of new. I was the first actually to confirm it in my high school and it really inspired me because I was afraid a lot of people would turn against me but they really didn’t. They actually really supported me and I actually gained a lot of friends because of that, during that time. In 2005 it wasn’t really as big as it was now or as acceptable. It inspired me to know that I didn’t have to be afraid to be who I was. The fear was all in my head. Growing up as an adult it made me realize that same lesson, that a lot of the fears are inside my head.

His name is Charlie and he was the Charlie Horse from Lamp Chops play along. My mother gave him to me because I used to watch it all the time. Charlie Horse was always my favorite, I would always go, “mom look at Charlie Horse, look at Charlie Horse.” So one day I came home from school and she said I have a surprise for you. Go look on your bed and I go look on my bed and there is a Charlie Horse.

I kept it with me, I even still have it now. It is something I cannot get rid of. It’s one of my favorite stuffed animals. It reminds me of a time when life was a little bit simpler. I remember when I would get afraid I would always cuddle up with it. Sometimes as an adult I still feel myself, catch myself going and getting it and holding it. It’s something that reminds me of how innocent life can be, especially being an adult where we’re so tied into being busy with work and bills. It’s a good feeling to know you can go back in time for a little bit as a reminder. That’s what it does for me.