If I want to change I’ll have to change for myself

When I was younger, I was like, I wasn’t a tomboy, but I wasn’t exactly a girly girl either and it kind of separated me from a lot of the girls, like a lot. I remember when I was in middle school the girls would always insist that I get a makeover like really insist on it. Like it wasn’t a suggestion it was like, this is going to happen right now. It kind of made m feel like really bad. Like I wasn’t pretty enough as I was. It really hurt my feelings. Actually, thinking about it now, really hurts my feelings.

It made me realize, even though I might not have been like all the other girls, but at the same time I was proud of who I am. I love to read. I read a lot. I was better at my academics. It also gave me the freedom to do the things I like, even though they might not have seen me as one of them, it kind of made me more…I’m not a good speaker, sorry. I just ignored it. I’m going to be who I am, if you don’t like it, well fine. I’m going to enjoy video games, Pokémon. Im going to enjoy not being so focused on boys, rather, be friends with them, not just like having boyfriend.

If I want to change I’ll have to change for myself.

I still have stuffed animals. I just bought one. I’m a big Pokémon fan so I’ve been collecting a lot of Pokémon plushies. I have a Pokémon called Esper. At first it wasn’t my favorite Pokémon but it was the one that, even now, I share my secrets with. I snuggle with. It’s my best friend.